Public Recognition of Private Courage
Contributors to the Asian Pacific Islander Family Wall of Pride; photo used with permission.
Our exhibition, API Family Wall of Pride, tells the stories of API family members who reclaimed the strong family ties and proud sense of interdependence so characteristic of Asian and Pacific Islander (API) families. To provide more insights into the stories told in the exhibition, we talked to Belinda Dronkers-Laureta, Director of API Family Pride.
What kind of people or stories are included in the Family Honor Roll?
Belinda Dronkers-Laureta: These are true stories of Asian families with LGBTQ children, stories of families that accepted their children no matter what.
Family acceptance is becoming more common, but we still have a long way to go. So, we single out and highlight the courage it takes for parents and family to stick by their LGBTQ children. Children nominate their parents and families who stuck by them. In 2004, we built on this idea and named our Family Presentation Banquet “Public Recognition of Private Courage.”
Why is it important to tell these stories now?
BD: When people come out, they start with their families, at their schools, and in their faith communities. And many times, there is no support in these spaces. So that’s where we exhibit selections from our API Wall of Pride to show examples of accepting Asian families with LGBTQ children.
For 20 years, we have probably shared selections from our Honored Family Honor Roll with over 500 different groups to schools, churches, conferences, families, and institutions.
In the schools, we work with PTAs, teachers, and others to ensure they are providing sensitivity training and resources. And sometimes the administration is resistant, but we know how important these resources are, so we keep fighting. Colleges often request to exhibit our API Wall of Pride.
We bring these story boards to workshops or conferences. People ask us, “so what does your organization do?” And the best answer I have is “we help keep families together.” We show that, in our homes, all children are welcome. Your children are your children. They should be welcome in any home.
Can you tell us about how you first got engaged in this work?
BD: When my son came out in 1993, I didn’t know any Asian families with LGBTQ people. I didn’t know where to look for resources. I first got involved through PFLAG, and became the President of the Fremont Chapter.
A few years later, I heard about an Asian group in San Francisco that was screening a short film called Coming Out Coming Home. It was specifically for Asian families, 3 families talking about their coming out process. We went to that showing and, in that room, with other Asian families, I didn’t feel alone anymore.
Since my son came out, I’ve become an advocate, and an ally. I realized early on that there were so few resources, so we had to create them for them for ourselves.
Is there anything else you want people to know about your work?
BD: API Family Pride is a volunteer organization. We need young generation to step up and advocate. It’s getting better, but changes takes time. Same sex marriage is legal and LGBTQ rights have improved, but there is still a lot of work to do.
Lastly… a heartfelt Thank You to all of our volunteers!
To learn more about API Family Pride, visit their website, http://apifamilypride.org.
The exhibition, API Family Wall of Pride is on display at the GLBT Historical Society Museum through June. Learn more, and get your tickets to see the exhibition, at https://www.glbthistory.org/api-family-pride.
Belinda Dronkers-Laureta is the Director of Asian and Pacific Islander Family Pride. The mission of API Family Pride is to end the isolation of Asian and Pacific Islander families with LGBTQ members though support, education, and dialog.